The new big task at hand is making a good sleep schedule. I feel so lost about it all. First thing: when do I put them to bed for the night? I so often hear people putting kids down for the night at 7 or 8 pm and that seems so early. Especially since they'll only sleep for 6 hours until they eat again- there's no chance for me to get any good sleep because I can't go bed that early! We've been doing 9pm recently. Is that too late?
Now the part I'm super confused about: Naps. The boys are not consolidating their naps at all. Right now I just let them fall asleep when they want to. Which translates to this repeated every three hours: They eat, are happy for an hour or so, get cranky for a while, sleep for 20-30 minutes (not necessarily at the same time, mind you), then are happy or sad until they eat again. How do I get them to nap a few times a day for longer periods of time? Is it just something that will come as they get older?
Last, as we're trying to push the boys to sleep for longer periods at night, what's the best way to adjust the day's schedule? If they happen to sleep an extra hour at night, should I shift everything an hour later or should we stick to a set schedule, making one intra-feeding period shorter in the morning?
Hmph, I'm all sorts of confused. Can you tell me your experiences or your ideas? You guys are lifesavers.
Really the way I delt with naps and sleeping is I just let Austin do what he wanted. Being a stay-at-home-mom you kind of get to make your own schedule. And babies are all different so they all sleep in their own way. Some babies are really good right off the bat about sleeping through the night and others get up quite a few times. I don't think Austin started taking good naps till about 6, 7, maybe even 8 months old. Then what threw me for a loop was that when he turned 1 he went from 2 naps a day to 1 nap a day and now it's just our schedule. We do try to get him down around 8 pm for night time and he generally goes down around 1 for an afternoon nap. But like I said...we didn't have a set schedule for quite awhile. Yours are still young enough that you don't really need a set schedule...that will come as they get older. :)
ReplyDeleteSleep begets sleep for babies. I put Ty to bed at 6-ish. (WOW. I know.) He usually sleeps til 7-ish waking up once to eat. He's done that for months. I think around 4 months it was more like 7 though, then he just started acting tired around 6 so why not?). On the rare occasion he goes to bed later, he wakes up more often. For naps around 4 months, I think I'd shoot for 9, 12 and 3:30 naps. They'd range from 30 min-2 hours. It wasn't until 7 months that he was taking 2 good naps at 9 and 1 and a catnap in the afternoon. Then by 8 months the 3rd nap was out. If he wakes up early/late, I'll adjust the naptime by about 30 min. (he's almost 11 mo now btw). But seriously, I think the early bedtime is the trick. Good luck! I remember feeling frustrated around this age b/c you want them on a routine but I think it can take time for the naps to fall into place.
ReplyDeleteOh and we had a "boot camp" we where I would consistently put him down at the same time for naps for a week around 7 months. After a few days he caught on.
ReplyDeleteHave you read the book Baby Wise? That was my guide with my kids, although I didn't do everything they say exactly. A big part of the sleeping longer for naps will come as they get older, but you can start trying to get them on the schedule you want by trying to put them down at the same times each day. One thing that helped me when I was getting my kids on a schedule, was try to have them up at the same time each morning. I usually picked 7am, but when they were younger it was closer to 6am (and then I would try and slowly move it back). Once they were getting old enough to where I knew they could be going longer without eating and when I was starting to go crazy because I need a routine ( between 2-3 months) I would take a few days and just write down what our schedule was...when they went down, woke up, ate, etc. and then I looked for patterns. Most of the time they are kind of on a mini-schedule of their own already. Then I would figure out what schedule I ideally wanted them on and tried to mesh the two. Preston has been different because we have so many other things going on, but with the girls it was easier. Addie initially would wake up around 5:30 or 6am, so I just went with that. If she wasn't up by 6am I would go feed her and if she woke up earlier I wouldn't go in to get her until 6am. The basis of Baby Wise is that you want their cycle to be sleep, eat, awake, sleep, eat, awake so that they are happy when they are full and happy when they are awake and learn to go to sleep without eating. I think to try and get them on a nap schedule you do kind of the same thing, slowly stretch that time between feedings and napping until everything is on a 2-3 hour cycle. As for when they go to sleep, I think for now putting them down at 9pm is fine, especially if you are able to get a good stretch of sleep that way (that is the most important thing at this point) and then as you feel like they are able to go longer without getting hungry you can try putting them down earlier by 15 minutes over time until you get them to a time you want and they are sleeping all night. With all that said, every baby is so different. Ella was by far our best sleeper and Preston was our worst, and I should have known what I was doing by then! Part of why I stopped breastfeeding him so early is that he ALWAYS wanted to eat every 2 hours, therefore wasn't taking good naps and then wasn't sleeping for more than 4 hours at night either. I decided I couldn't do it and be fair to the girls too, especially with me getting no sleep, so I weaned him earlier than I was planning so we could at least go out and do things and he could eat a bottle instead. So, I think you just have to try a few different things and see what works for you and your babies. Good luck :-)! Sleeping is definitely the key to happiness!!!
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ReplyDeleteI wholeheartedly agree with Kim and Marci. Routine is key and there is some sleep training necessary for babies. Babies need to learn the skill of being laid down in their beds and then fall asleep. With twins, I would think you desperately need to have them learn to sleep at the same time. The trick will be for you guys to get them into bed *before* they start to get cranky. Babies get this sort of glazed over look in their eyes. That's when you RUSH them to their beds! :)
ReplyDeleteJust know that with sleep-training, there will be tears, and you may feel guilty letting them cry in bed. But, they will eventually go to sleep and wake up in such a great mood. I do actually agree with Kim in saying "sleep begets sleep". It may seem backwards, but the earlier they are put down, the longer they will sleep. This will be especially true when they are 6 months old. Then, they'll be sleeping 12 hours at a time!
So, I say to do your best in getting them into a routine. Lay them down in bed at the same time, even if one is not tired. They'll learn to soon sync up their schedules. You've gotten some great how-to advice so far and I'd go with that.
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ReplyDeletePS again. There are off days and sometimes they just won't go to sleep for their nap (blame it on teething/25 hour circadian rhythms/growth spurt/whatever). Cut your losses and put them down slightly earlier for the next nap/bedtime. I can usually count on Ty getting back on track right away. Seems like once a week something gets thrown off.
ReplyDeleteRight around the age where your boys are now is where Caleb was about able to stay awake the whole time between two feedings (for about three hours). That's when I figured out how many times a day he needed to eat and he'd get a nap between every other feeding (so it would go feeding, nap, feeding, awake, feeding, nap, feeding, awake, feeding, bed). He gets his last feeding around 9PM. I really don't see the point in putting your babies to bed earlier unless you go to bed earlier. I'd go nuts if my baby woke up at 6AM, personally. And plus, Nate doesn't even get home until 6:30, so he would never get time with Caleb if he went to bed earlier.
ReplyDeleteI think a good trick to getting babies to nap well is to always put them in the same spot to sleep (another trick from the NICU OT). Don't depend on rocking them to sleep or putting them in the swing. Lay them down when they're tired but not yet asleep. Once they're used to the routine you can lay them down when it's time whether they're tired or not and they'll still fall asleep. And make sure their tummies are full or else they won't sleep for very long.
And be flexible. It's a "routine," not a "schedule." If you need to get them up earlier in the morning for some reason, just do everything else throughout the day a little earlier and put them to bed earlier. They'll most likely get right back on track the next day.
Routine is definitely best. Kaden had a hard time napping as well and would do the 1/2 hr. Once I got him onto a schedule he was much better. But there were/are still days when he just won't nap. As for bedtime, I think 7/8 is way too early. We used to put kaden down at 9:30, and have gradually moved it up to 9. As he gets older and sleeps longer, it will be earlier. Putting them to bed at 9 is best for you as well because you need your sleep. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThis is tricky. You know, how to get children to sleep before they're at the stage of filling their bellies with steak and potatoes.
ReplyDeleteAs always Katie, you're in the mist of great advice.
Janisen was always an excellent sleeper. Enjoy your 6 hour night time. That's a blessing and about what Janisen slept for after cocoon wrapping her. Kason, Rhuelin, and Breelahn were different matters. They all slept for 2 hours at the most and would wake up and let Mamma know (I fast learned to sleep through these moments) it was time for some food.
My experience has been that 8:00(ish) is an excellent time for seep. I would strongly suggest winding back the boy's sleep time to that hour and enjoy your hubby and your home while you're still up for a few more hours after the kids go down.
I totally agree with Jenny's sleep training. Even when it seems cruel and goes against motherly tendencies to care for your children, let them "cry it out", a little longer everytime. In fact, I have specific memories of Mother sitting outside your room and letting you cry yourself to sleep. mom would time each intervention. She'd let you cry for about 2 minutes, and then go somfort you without picking you up. She'd then time it for 2:30 (or so) before the next imtervention. Mom would continue this pattern until Little Katie would finally snooze off. (It was adorable!!!)
Good luck with this Katie.
I love you Auntie Katie
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