Tuesday, December 31, 2019

thank goodness they’re funny

Wren: Grey hit me!
Katie: Oh no, that’s terrible! Were you bothering him?

Wren: NO! I was bothering Dash.

Grey: When are the Fall Olympics?
Katie: You know what? There are no fall olympics, just winter and summer. But they should have fall ones, that would be cool.
Grey: Maybe I could be in it since it’s my birthday?
Katie: Oh yeah, definitely!
Grey: I could be... [whispers] a silent huntress.

Grey reads “of the ninety and nine which went not astray”: of the ninety and nine which went to Australia.

Wren: I’ll never rip it again. I only did that two days ago. Five days ago. I’ll not do that today. Yesterday, I mean.

Grey: We should put a Go Pro on Syl. It would be cool to watch, like, “wow. That’s crazy.”

Katie: Dash did you clean up the snow you brought in?
Dash: Yes I did.
Katie: Are you sure, I see a lot of water in the ground.
Dash: That’s not the snow, that’s the water I put on the snow to melt it.

Wren: I’m a big girl!
Katie: You are! Do you like growing up?
Wren: Yes! But I don’t like having a couch in my room.

Katie: Would you like to help me and bring down these towels?
Wren: Sure!
Katie: Thanks wren, do you know where they go?
Wren: Yeah, in the trowel drawer. Howel. Trow... drow... tro... twow... towel. The towel drawer!

Liam: Did you start on the 2017 book?
Katie: I think I have but I’m not positive.
Liam: So you’re negative?!

Katie comes home with a new haircut.
Grey: You look like a girl Professor Snape.

Wren sneezes: Mommy I Blessed Youed!

Wren: It has peacocks on it! Snakes. Peacocks.
Katie: Flamingos?
Wren: Flamingos!

Liam: Wren, you’re still in the tub? You’ve been in there forever!
Sean: She’s going to turn into a raisin.
Katie: I think she’ll turn into a fish.
Wren: I don’t want to be a fish, I want to become a wren!
Liam: What if you became an old person’s pupil?!

Liam: Wren, do you know about Stonehenge? [waits] Yes or no?
Wren: Yes!
Liam: What is it?
Wren: I don’t know, can you talk bout it?
Liam: No.

Sean: Where’s Grey?
Dash: Probably pooping.

Grey, asleep, then at full volume: Yeah! He actually accidentally... [gestures in an open palm vertical slicing motion] he actually accidentally, like, he did something on accident.

Katie: Wren, you have so many bruises on your legs.
Wren: Yeah because I had owies. And they developed into bruises.

Wren: Now write ‘picture,’ upper case.
Katie writes it.
Wren: Okay, now ‘wall,’ downer case.

Grey: Daddy daddy Daaaadddddy daddy.
Sean: Yes?
Grey: Okay, so, um... what was I going to say?

Grey: Mommy, can you help me? I’m trying to dig a family hole.

Wren, amazed: Food turns into poo!

Wren: I don’t have shoes, I only brought my sandals. My slip slops.

Wren: Mommy, I literally have to go potty.

Wren: I poked my foot. [whimpers] I think it has cavities.

Grey: Mom, sometimes you say,”that’s funny,” but you don’t really think it’s funny.

Liam: Grey, why did you push the horn?
Grey: I didn’t mean to!
Katie: Yeah, it was an accident.
Liam: But Wren did it on purpose.
Katie: I don’t think she did it on purpose, actually.
Wren: I DID!

Wren: Why did they give me cheese?! I didn’t want cheese!! [eats all the cheese]

Clipping Grey’s toenails
Grey: That’s one of my nine favorite toes.

Grey: Don’t eat with food in your mouth!

Wren as Gollum: I’m precious.

Wren: Dobby the Hobbit is freeeeee!

Liam: Impossible! No... improbable.

Mimi: Do you need to go potty?
Wren: No. My bottom was just hungry.

Grey: Who was your mom when you were little?
Sean: Mimi was my mom, and she still is! Who was your mom when you were little?
Grey: You!

Wren: I tooted, do you smell my smell? Once again, my smell is yucky.

Wren: A’five, a’six, a’seven, a’eight, a’nine, a’ten, a’leven... a’.... a’... a’eleven!

Wren: Wrap me like a b’ritio [burrito]. I don’t have hot sauce. I have cold sauce. You can pick cold sauce or warm sauce or hot sauce. It’s pink and purple. And shiny!

Liam: Can we play sardines?
Wren: Yes! Sore-beans!

Wren: Ow! Ow! Oh that steams!

Sean: Do you know any compound words?
Grey: I know one! Custard!

Grey: Did you know your birthday is on Harry Potter’s birthday?
Wren: No, he’s on MY birthday.

Wren: It's cold outside so I've got chickenbunks.

Katie: That’s pretty dang fun!
Grey, staring at me: I’ve always wanted to hear you say “dang.”

Wren: Do it!
Katie: Do what?
Wren growl whispers: Save the Dark Lord.
😳 [said while listening to Harry Potter]

Wren: What’s your dad’s name?
Friend: Well, I call him Dad, but he’s also Justin.
Wren: Oh, I know! “With liberty and Justin for all!”

Wren: This smells like root beard.

Wren: Daddy, Grey won’t let me put these stickers where I want.
Sean: Well, you two need to work together and work it out.
Wren goes back to Grey: Grey, Daddy says you have to let me do whatever I want.

Wren: Help me, I’m indisposed!

Wren: Chapstick is lip glom.

Grey: Is this chicken made of chicken?

Wren: Jesus is watching you, Dash.

Wren: Amen. I don’t like men.

Liam: Mom! Wren called us weird donkeys!

Liam, praying: Please bless the day after Christmas Eve.

All sing: Rudolph the red-nose reindeer, you’ll go down in history!
Wren: Like Wren Bradley!

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